You know what the world needs now? It’s not love, sweet love. It’s more shutting the hell up.

So, turn down your stereo, turn off your TV, quit having an opinion on every subject, muzzle your barking dog, quit preaching your religion, fix the muffler on your car, put away your chainsaws and leaf blowers, stop racking up frequent flyer miles, and be quiet!!!

And on that note, this will be my last blog entry. Nobody reads blogs anyway…

These are the lowest forms of life on the planet earth, based on their relentless money-grubbing, indifference to human suffering, and overall moral decrepitude:

10. Government bureaucrats
9. Pimps
8. Used-car salesmen
7. Paparazzi
6. Property developers
5. Drug dealers
4. Landlords
3. Politicians
2. Telemarketers
1. Corporate executives

Am I missing anyone? Shit, I forgot to include surgeons.

I did my undergraduate degree at the University of British Columbia, so naturally, when it came time to apply for graduate studies, I thought of my alma mater.

I now have no desire to attend U.B.C., based on my experience of the application process…

1. U.B.C. had the highest application fee of any of the schools I applied to.

2. U.B.C. was the only school to require three references instead of two.

3. U.B.C. was the only school to want a S.A.S.E., presumably so it could save on the cost of a stamp for the rejection letter.

4. U.B.C. makes its current and former students send in transcripts. So you have to pay $10 to have two pieces of paper sent 10 feet from one building to another.

It is clear that U.B.C. is a bloated, impersonal, grubbing institution that cares little for the dignity of prospective, current, and former students.

Tuum est = Give me your money, now fuck off

No, it was not an April Fool’s Day joke. BC Ferries has slapped on yet another fare increase to unsuspecting passengers, effective April 1, 2008.

In what can only be deemed “wallet rape,” BC Ferries has been jacking up fares and fuel surcharges, at least twice a year, every year since it was privatized.

But the joke is on BC Ferries. A recent report shows that ridership has decreased as a direct result of fare increases. Yet BC Ferries stubbornly sticks to its belief that the few and fewer should pay more and more - a shortsighted strategy that should seal the corporation’s financial fate.

BTW The same day the rate increase went into effect, the BC Ferries Board of Directors received a 60% pay raise for all their selfless, tireless efforts in gouging tourists, strangulating island communities, and robbing the province’s taxpayers.

nose•girl
n. /NOZ-gurl/

1. A woman whose nose doesn’t conform to the stereotypical ideal of feminine beauty.
2. A woman whose beauty is enhanced or accentuated by her large or uniquely shaped nose.

For those of you who think big noses are unattractive, here is a list of fabulous nosegirls…

Ingrid Bergman, Mayim Bialik, Sandra Bullock, Sofia Coppola, Penelope Cruz, Celine Dion, Greta Garbo, Laura San Giacomo, Marcia Gay Harden, PJ Harvey, Michelle Kwan, Stacy London, Sofia Loren, Penny Marshall, Debra Messing, Martina Navratilova, Sarah Jessica Parker, Barbara Streisand, Uma Thurman, Nia Vardalos, and Amy Winehouse.